Trying...

There are times that I think I am trying too hard, and not getting any results. I need to just be still and breathe. This must be how an author feels when they get writers block. There are so many things that I want to do, see, feel. And yet it seems as if I am shackled to a wall. Last night and today for some reason, I am feeling stressed and uncomfortable. The past few weeks I have been confident and relaxed, and now I feel a bit worried. The weather has changed back to below freezing temperatures and that means I cannot start the tractor. We rolled the last of the hay bales into the field yesterday, so I will need to get some bales moved for next weekend. Aughhh.. This happens every year, though. Always at the end of the hard season, we begin to despair, wear down. And you know what? The sun does come out and the grass does grow. The tractor does start and the world is new again. Remember, remember, remember. There are other things to remember, too. I need to go back to my source. I have made quite an exciting breakthrough and should really sit back and bask in it's glory. That's my problem, I expect total continuity, but things need to ebb and flow in their own natural rhythm, just like the seasons. All of a sudden I have begun to panic - ack! And, surprisingly, as I am writing this, a warm, calm feeling is washing over me. The Universe is speaking to me - " it's ok, all things will be fine. All is well. You are doing a fine job." Phew. Ok, I just needed a little blog therapy.

I think I have posted this somewhere before, but it has popped into my head just now so I need to acknowledge it:

My life list : ( a brief synopsis - there is a lot on that list  )

1.   HAVE NO REGRETS
2.   Identify my strengths ( I AM loyal, kind, empathetic )
3.   Find my passions
4.   Learn to drive a stick shift -DONE
5.   Learn sign language
6.   Fire Walk
7.   Ride a bull - real or mechanical
8.   Break and train a horse - DONE
9.   Advocate for animals
10. Advocate for the elderly
11. Be daring and passionate
12. Care less about what others think- be authentic
13. Live with integrity
14. Go to a beach - DONE
15. Participate in a camel race

So this is just a small bit of what I wish to accomplish/ have accomplished in this life.  Really, I have had a very exciting life so far. I may not have gone on a lot of trips around the world - but I did get to the beach. I do have an awesome little old Mustang 5 speed that Chip taught my 40 year old self to drive. I have tamed and trained many a horse and other 4 legged souls. ( Buck, I am coming for you this year, buddy!! )  And I am learning , with a little help from my friends ( Brad, Kristen, Beth- y'all know who you are) to be a more authentic, loving, AWESOME, powerful being.

Be awesome to one another!