Emotionally

Another one of those incredibly emotional days. Oh, I have had a lot on my mind these past several weeks, and truth be told, the past two weeks have been a little more peaceful and relaxing so I don't really know why the meltdown today. Well, it is one year and two months since Chip transitioned. And looking back to this day last year, I believe that I feel pretty much the same. As I mentioned in yesterday's post, it seems as if the emotions are more raw now, than they were 6 months ago. I assume that it is just part of the process. And I have so many things on my mind. I have felt Chip more closely the last week. And that is good, because I was beginning to fear that I was losing the connection. Of course, when we come from fear, the connection does get looser. And I certainly have been very fearful lately. I know I need to just suck it up and be strong. But you cannot really tell someone that until you have walked in their shoes. This time of year is very difficult for me in many ways that most people would not understand. The tractors are hard to start. It is too cold. The water freezes. The hay diminishes. I worry about the cows pushing the fences, which I have not had the time nor the inclination to walk and clear. A good thing, yesterday instead of the snow and sleet that was expected, we got lots of rain. The creek is flowing now and flowing well enough that even if the temperature goes way down, it should not freeze solid. We got 5 bales out to them. Everyone should be content this week. And I am panicking about getting the cows in the barn so I can sell them. But I need to remember that I have done this many, many times. And I can do this. I can do anything I set my mind to, just need to remind myself of it.

One of the keys here is to have a positive attitude and to manifest the life that I desire. I have been very good at manifesting, so this should be a piece of cake. But first I need to come from the right mind frame and from love. And in order to get there, I need to center and ground and relax and allow. All things I have mentioned many times here. I have not been feeling myself lately, and it has been taking it's toll on me. But once I get myself back, I should be ready to rock and roll. And my health, physical, emotional and mental, should return as well.

I think that I am going to really try to do some of my life list things this year. Ride a mechanical bull, walk on hot coals, maybe even ride a camel if I can find one. Why not?  Important thing is to create the life that I want, that I truly want and deserve. I know that it is possible, as I have experienced the wonders of manifesting. So I just need to get in the groove and do it. Time to become a vibrant, magnetic, energetic soul.

Peace, Love and Happiness to all of you!