Ok, so this is crazy but the last two days I have been receiving what I can only interpret as signs. What these signs mean, I have yet to determine, but they are there nonetheless. I really wish that I had some magic crystal ball, or some kind of translator that would enable me to know exactly what I am meant to learn from this. One thing I do know is that I am desirable. That other people are attracted to me and my light and think I am worthy of their love and friendship. This means a lot to me as I am battling with this need to feel important and loved.
I know that I have only been posting sporadically, as the words just don't seem to want to come as easily as they used to. At first it was because I was busy being in love and feeling alive again for the first time in many years. Then it was because I was fearful and unsure, blocked and feeling hopeless. At this moment, I feel the energy beginning to shift and the possibility of a new adventure on the horizon. There are many things to accomplish here and I feel the calling. I still have the desire to sell the farm and run. Move to Florida and live on the beach. But there are ties here. I need to start cutting back on the things that are weighing me down and clear some space in my physical and spiritual world. This goes for possessions and people. Clear out everything that does not serve my highest good. Got junk? Pitch it. Negative people pulling me down, hurting me or otherwise treating me badly? Ditch them. It is time to clear the space and open up to all the wonderful things that life has in store for me. I have been in pain for far too long, it is time to live again.
I want to feel alive again.
Yes, in the beginning there were many signs. And I know what they meant. And I know that there is a meaning in everything we experience in this life. This was a lesson. And I thank you for that. I have been learning to exercise patience, faith, trust and discernment. I know that I can open my heart and love again, with the totality of my being. I know that, in feeling this deep, overwhelming feeling of love and bliss, I can see the future, forever, to infinity and beyond.
Shooting stars, fireballs, green grass, olives, the man on the tractor, a bus full of nuns holding babies, I want you to want me, walking down the hill toward the shed, voices, nose rubs, whispers meant to be heard, all of them signs. So many more.
I am ready. I will allow the Universe to supply me with all that I need and desire, gratefully, in the appropriate time. I will be patient. I will trust. I will believe. The easiest and hardest part of all of this is to just let go and allow it to come to me. Have faith and patience. What will be, will be. If certain people are meant to be in my life, then they will. If not, then I release them with love and wish them well. And welcome the new ones in. I will be looking for you. We have so many adventures to experience.
I feel myself censoring my words. Time to wrap this post up. It is almost 1:30 a.m. and I am getting a bit tired. I will ask the Universe for a sign tonight. Something that will leave no doubt as to my next step on this journey. I know that whatever path I take, it will lead to the bliss and love that I so desire. That is my destiny. And I feel that it is much more beneficial to relax and allow it to come to me rather than chase it. There are some people that I love very much and I hope that they are destined to be a permanent part of my journey, and in all the best and most loving ways.
Come and be witness to the magic unfolding in my life. Much love to you.