Saturday, August 23, 2014

Otter Pops

That's a crazy name for a post, isn't it? But it popped into my head and I figured it was time to post here anyway. I was pretty busy and happy the last couple of weeks, thanks friends. Alas. The concert in Blue Ash, the one I had waited for all year, was even better than last year. That day will forever be in my heart now as well. But sadly, I am now very sad. I just don't understand. I hope it is just a temporary thing. But I am about to give up. I spent the last three days crying so hard my eyes swelled shut. I have to stop having expectations, because then I wont get disappointed. The last two weeks were the best I have had in forever. You know, I don't think I can continue this post right now. I am really grieving. And I am tired of grieving. I want the life that I have imagined these last few weeks when I was feeling so happy, safe and secure. When will that come? What have I done? Why? These past few days, the ability to look to the future is eluding me. I want that feeling of being overjoyed, loved, safe and a part of something. Ah, people, prayers appreciated.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Confused, And Inspired

Had a really weird feeling last night. Kind of excited, kind of calm and knowing. Like I know something good is coming, but know that I can be patient and it will get here in its own good time. Couldn't sleep either. I think I finally fell asleep around 4:45 or so. Then in and out until around 11:00. But definitely a good thing. Also confused by some feelings I am having, too personal to post, but I know it is all part of the process. I will figure it all out. But the underlying feeling is that everything is going to work out just fine.

Love Y'all

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

You Should Have Been There

That goes for a couple of people I know. Because it was fun. And it would have been even more fun with you there. But I met a few new friends and got to dance with them, and that, my friends, is what life is all about. Dance, dance, dance. I met a widow who was married over 54 years. Lost her husband three years ago. And we danced. And Barb, who lost her husband almost a year ago. And we danced. And several other fine ladies who probably have wonderful husbands or boyfriends. And we danced. But you weren't there. And you should have been. Because life is more fun that way.

And I received some signs. Man, I don't know how I couldn't have thought it was a sign. First the thought before bed last night, then the dreams of turtles. Then today at the store, seeing turtles everywhere. Signs, signs, everywhere signs. Remember, Cin. More important to recognize and show thankfulness for receiving the signs than to ask what they represent. That will come. I think I already know. But I allow and accept all help from Source and the Universe, gratefully.

Rather than try to force and push, as I almost always do even though I know better, I will relax and allow. My path lies before me. There is no rush. My destiny will unfold as it is meant to in the time it is meant to. Books will be written, goals will be met, dreams will come true. Love will be shared. I will become a wonderful, awesome, powerful teacher. Student. Soul. I have all the time in the world. The rest of my life. All things that are meant for me, will come at the right time. And life will be better than ever.

Join me.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Thoroughly Content And Exhausted

Just got back from walking at the community center and then swimming at Bonnie's. Got a good workout tonight, and I need that because I have noticed that I am getting a little rounder lately. Haven't gained any weight, but maybe lost some muscle? Let's get that off there and build that muscle back. So I am feeling very exhausted and very calm. Going to jump into bed early and get some rest. I think I will go on a shopping adventure tomorrow. And then to the concert tomorrow night. And yay! The Remains at Blue Ash is next week, not this week, so we are going. Looking forward to another barbecue chicken pizza. Sigh, yes, I remember last year and how awesome and magical it was. And this year is going to be 10 times better! I have earned it!

Night all!!!   

Thank You For That Conversation, E

Last night I had a conversation with a friend. And in that conversation, many important things were brought up, insights, advice, support, realizations. Nancy and I laughed and she reminded me not to work so hard. Not to look so hard. Relax. Things will come to me in the right time. When I am not looking, that is when they will come. Where have I heard this before??   And then with E. And he pointed out a few things that I had not thought of. Very sage advice, my friend. And you, E. Your Opus is arriving. Victory is on its way. And we shall write your book, your story too.

Yes, Cin. Remember what he said about Roman Candles. Burning bright and hot. Burning out way too quickly. Slow burn. Smoldering. Never being extinguished. That is truth. That is the fire I seek. Now to practice your advice with Nancy's and wait for the fireworks!!

To Infinity And Beyond!!

Sunday, August 3, 2014

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

Bet your bottom dollar.

This was a good week. Monday night, dinner with the cousins. Marianne in from Hawaii. Pizza from NYPD. Tuesday night, Dinner with Bonnie and Dave (and Chip)  and back to the house for birthday cake. Thursday, Kings Island. Watching Pru's face after riding the Bat- priceless. Friday, dinner with the cousins again. Saturday, birthday party for Reagan. Missed the horse drawn princess carriage though since I had to get back home. Sunday, breakfast with a friend, then a trip downtown to visit a movie set. Awesome!!  Then a great chat with Nancy, Steve, Eric and Sherry, while searching with my metal detector for buried electric lines.

Now I wonder what this coming week will bring. Will I have stuff to do? I need to go put in my resume to become a production assistant on the movie set. Kings Island? Lunch with EGB on Friday. Tuesday is a concert at the community center. And Friday night is the Remains concert at Blue Ash. Lets see how that goes, as that will be a bittersweet night. And  I was hoping that I would have my new friend to go to that one with. I wish you well, my friend. You gave me some things to ponder, some insight, some inspiration. I hope that I gave that to you as well. Keep your head up. No Fear.

So many lessons. Some are harsh, some are pleasantly surprising. I love surprises, the good kind. Please, no more bad ones. But each day is a new day, with new experiences, new lessons. The sun comes up, the world keeps spinning. It is what we do with those lessons that matters. I am determined to graduate from this class. Time to move on. I will learn.  I will write. I will teach. I will heal. And right now Gone Gone Gone is playing. That song pulls at my heart. Do you feel it? Do you feel my heart calling out? Just as I felt the pull of his heart this time last year, I can feel the pull again. Who are you? Where are you? What adventures will we share? I pledge to be cautious, to use the wisdom I have gained this past year to its greatest advantage, for the greatest good. I feel the energy right this minute. It is positive, high. That anticipatory feeling of good things coming. Oh, my, yes. The best is yet to be.