Yeah, I remember. And even though I have been down and worried about the farm, whether or not I can do this on my own, these are the days that remind me of why we do this. This is my life. I have a tendency to want to run away from life from time to time. Like a 6 year old child, running away seems the only solution to a scary life. Now that I am the "mother" to that scared, lonely 6 year old child, I am forced to reconsider that form of escape. This is home, and running away is not going to solve anything. Working through the fear is a good start. Chip is standing over my shoulder right now and I feel that he is in agreement. He hated when I used to exlaim "I quit!" and "I give up!" even if I didn't really mean it, just blowing off steam. He never gave up. Never quit the fight, even when he knew. He fought a grand, hard fight. I am so proud of him. In his honor, I must not give up. This game is mine to play, and I intend to come out the other side victorious. You will be so proud, love.
I AM a powerful, limitless, spiritual being formed of love and light. And I shall carry that love and light, and share it with all beings. We are all in this together, we are all connected.
Last night we went to our nephews wedding. It was a wonderful evening. Nancy invited me to ride with her and Steve. Since I don't drive much at night, good thing. Also good because Steve kept putting beer in front of me. As a very very light drinker, 2 beers was more than enough on an empty stomach ( if I drink at all it may be a few sips from a can and I am done. ) so I turned down the third. And now I know what a hangover must feel like. Caleb was ring bearer and he was just adorable. Again, I am so blessed that these people have opened their arms and accepted me as part of the family. I have said before, blood does not make a family. I have no blood family. Well, I just said we are all connected, so that is a little hyprocritical. But you know what I mean. Chip was my whole family, my everything. The icing on the cake is that all of these people who are his blood family, accept me. And there are a few friends out there also, that I feel a connection to. Soul friends. Part of a group, we have been together many times, playing many different roles in each others lives. Always we find our way back to one another, just as our soul mates do. Here to touch each others lives with love and light and enjoy the game together.
Much Love - know you are not alone. ( and remind me of that once in a while )