Saturday, August 23, 2014
That's a crazy name for a post, isn't it? But it popped into my head and I figured it was time to post here anyway. I was pretty busy and happy the last couple of weeks, thanks friends. Alas. The concert in Blue Ash, the one I had waited for all year, was even better than last year. That day will forever be in my heart now as well. But sadly, I am now very sad. I just don't understand. I hope it is just a temporary thing. But I am about to give up. I spent the last three days crying so hard my eyes swelled shut. I have to stop having expectations, because then I wont get disappointed. The last two weeks were the best I have had in forever. You know, I don't think I can continue this post right now. I am really grieving. And I am tired of grieving. I want the life that I have imagined these last few weeks when I was feeling so happy, safe and secure. When will that come? What have I done? Why? These past few days, the ability to look to the future is eluding me. I want that feeling of being overjoyed, loved, safe and a part of something. Ah, people, prayers appreciated.