This was a post from last week that I forgot to publish, so I am adding it now.
This is one of those posts where I feel the need to share, but the words are hiding from my consciousness. So much of the past 11 months has been filled with both sadness and awe. There are so many things that I have experienced and it is really hard to believe that it has been almost a year. In looking back, I realize that I have done so many things that are not in my nature. I have become a new person. Oh, I am the same old Cindy as always, but I have added to my chest of experiences. Who would have thought 11 months ago that I would be where I am today. 11 months ago, it was the end of the world. My beloved soul mate transitioned to a new form of existence and I was left behind to pick up the pieces and ford this terrifying river on my own. Oh, he has always been by my side in spirit, I know this. But it was still very hard to forge ahead, feeling like one half of the whole. Look at all of the things that I have done since, though, the courage that I now know I exhibited in sharing my fears and dreams and experiences. So many things. Perhaps they seem trivial to some, but to me they are big steps. Each and every step of the way, I have learned something valuable. From the sheer joy of dancing to a live band, to the incomparable feeling of finding new love. I have learned that I can feel again.
And I must admit again that I am doing so many more things than ever before. And there are many adventures to come. Life is too short. There is a mechanical bull to ride, hot coals to walk on, a horse to train, love to be made. A book to write. Seminars to give. My spirit is filled with the longing and anticipation of new adventures and excitement. Live life with joy.
Ronnie and I are comparing all of the signs we are noticing that point toward our coming together. There have been a couple of big ones for me. And for him as well. And the feeling in my heart is one of contentment. There is no doubt here. I have not felt this whole in a long time.
Each person grieves in their own way, in their own time. I believed that I would never get over and through this trauma. However, I have begun to realize that everything in my life this past year had occurred in an accelerated manner. As White Tiger would say, I am a powerful manifester. I don't want to waste a moment of love, joy and happiness.