I love this being good to myself - this self care. The things that are most important to me are walking the place and connecting to nature, and, of course, to Chip. When I am "out there" I feel as one with the Universe and Source. It is becoming very apparent that when I let go and relax, things flow much more easily to me. There are so many things I am interested in , that I wish to accomplish on this path, and if I become too obsessed over it , I will be overwhelmed and not process anything at all effectively. It's like, too much to do and not enough time. Like Chip always said ( says ) and I have repeated here before, "go with the flow" .
I have been feeling very dependant and needy lately. Always been a problem with me, needing other peoples approval. Something I need to work on. It feels so good to know other people have your back. Will I be able to learn how to "connect"? Will I be successful? Oh, but just now comes an inspiration: when I quit work to go back to school, I was terrified. I am too old, can I really learn new things, what if I am too "stupid" to get it? etc. Well, when I got there, it was so easy, and I enjoyed it immensely. It gave me a great feeling of empowerment and accomplishment. And then, when I had gotten all that was available from that school, I left and went on to study on my own and get the "degree". I just love to be a student!! I thrive on it. I guess I just lose myself in my insecurity that I will be inadequate, unloveable, etc. We have accomplished so many things this time around, and we have many more adventures to enjoy.
I do not subscribe to the idea that we need to "move on". If we are multidimensional beings, existing on many levels at once, then we have the ability to be at all places at all times.There really is no spacetime there. Therefore, my personality ( Cin ) may be here and now, but my higher self is also existing "somewhere" else. This applies to all of us. If we are all connected to the Source ( God ) , we are all connected to one another. I hope that one of the things that is important to Chip is to be here with me, where I can perceive him with my five senses. But beyond there is something most wonderful. I hope to better understand these concepts, and put them to use in my life, here and now. Patience...
And Prudy has just called to ask me to go to the farm with her and Mike and we are going to enjoy this wonderful day ( nearly 70 freaking degrees! ) and do a little work. And the message I am getting right now is - " go on, get out there and enjoy this. Get out of the house and enjoy". Yes sir!