Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I Think I Can Relax Tonight

By George, I think I can! Have been a little more stressed than I was willing to admit, and I really haven't had much of a routine for several months now. Used to be I would come home from work, emotionally exhausted, have a bite, tidy up the house, shower and settle in in front of the tv with my kindle. Then off to bed with my kindle, until I zonked out. Or cried myself to sleep. Whatever.
Lately, I have been more scattered. Probably mostly in a good way. With Brad S., and the radio show, and all the books I have been trying to read ( I have 7 going at once right now - which is just way too distracting so I need to go one at a time - I have the rest of my life ) and fretting, then being happy and dancing around ( manic depressive?? ) and my new job, I have just been too crazy. Maybe if I just settle down and ground myself and go with the flow, things will not seem as disconcerting. So tonight I am going to post this, then grab my book of choice, The Fifth Agreement ( my homework for the week ) and sit on the patio and read. Another thing I have been doing rather than my regular routine , which I will not give up for anything, is my work trying to connect with Spirit. That is the most important. Forget vacuuming. Chip always hated when I vacuumed anyway.

The girls at the office were very supportive today when I expressed that I wanted to learn everything I can and get off and running quickly, but am afraid of making mistakes. I love this place. These are some very awesome people. You know, really good things just keep coming to me, and yes, I really do deserve them. The Universe is truly loving.

Several people came to me after Chip passed away and stated that I was one of the strongest people they have met. I wanted to tell them they are crazy, because I felt like I was going to break into a million pieces. But really, I think I know what they meant, and I am honored that they felt that way. It has been a tough road. Each day I can feel my soul getting just a little stronger, a little more healed. I will always miss Chip in his physical existence. But he still walks beside me, in spirit. And I can feel his joy as I progress and expand. You know, more than anything else, I want to make him proud.
Yeah, I have said before that when I receive a challenge, I always say "bring it on!". Isn't that funny? I struggle with confidence in my abilities, but if you dare me to do something ( bet you won't go jump on that horse ) I am on it. And my nieces are supposed to take me to a nightclub on my birthday so I can ride the mechanical bull. That will be another thing I can cross off my life list.  Ah, well. Like I said, wait till you see Buck and me dancing in the moonlight.

Much love and blessings to all - and especially tonight to my teachers - you know who you are.

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