Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Countdown Begins

Tomorrow is my last day at the courthouse. I am so very very excited to start my new job. I love the people I am going to be working for and with. It will be really nice to join a group of really good people. I will really miss Beth. And Gigi. But Beth said that we are the kind of friends that will stick together no matter. I truly hope that is true.

Today was a rough day at work. A man having a bad day called in and began to cry. Another man who was mentally challenged came in and made a scene. I figure, they are giving me all sorts of reasons to not miss this job. I have been so excited and pre occupied about the new job that I have not spent much time studying and working on myself. I need to just relax and allow. Center and ground myself.

Still thinking about the farm in Indiana. Need to make a business plan and weigh the pros and cons of both options. If I find a good business partner, then we can make a little money, and enjoy the lifestyle. If I sell, I have a great return on the initial investment and can reinvest in the house here, which needs lots of work.And then, cattle?, horses?, both?  And seriously, who would I find to partner up with?  Dave is the only one I can think of , and he is so busy with all his farms that I fear he has no time for me. Have to work on it and really determine what my heart wants. Right now I am confused and can't tell if I am really picking up impressions of what could / should be or if it is just wishful thinking. Again, as with all the wonderful things that have been manifesting in my life lately, if it is meant to be, then it shall be, and the perfect circumstances will unfold and present themselves to me.

Really proud of Prudy - she got a promotion that she wanted. Yeah, we have an angel watching over us for sure! It's about time. But you know, I would give anything, anything, to have Chip back , fat and happy and healthy. Do you know how much I long to get my big bear hug from him, saying " way to go Red, you got that job! I'm so proud of you!" Oh, I know he is here, and I know he is proud. But I miss him so darn much. So many wonderful things are happening in my life, and I know that more are to come, but it is hard to walk this without the love of my life physically by my side. Yeah, I've said it before, but I do know that he wants me to be happy, to feel joy and bliss. I also know that when I am happy and joyful, he is happy and dances by my side. He is always with me. And it is not disrespectful of our love for me to be happy and have fun. It actually honors him and our love. I know, you walk by my side, always by my side. I feel ya!

Getting tired. Bearing your soul is exhausting work!

Love and Light


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