Well, here we go. It has been six months since Chip moved into the next step of his (our) journey. And yes, I keep saying that I will not keep track of life like that, but somehow I am compelled to. Just cannot believe that six whole months have gone by. How have I managed to get through all of those days and nights? Well, just plain old survival tactics for one thing. Winter was hard and I was concentrating on keeping the animals alive and fed. And seriously, Brad S. has been a real godsend. Well, I believe that Chip and the Universe sent him. And I try to be strong. And I try to remember. But right now, my heart is breaking. Silly, isn't it? I know he is still here, by my side. But right this minute I feel so weak. Again, this is ridiculous. I love and miss Chip each and every day. This day is no different than yesterday, or tomorrow. And I really need to celebrate our love, not mourn. Love never dies, nor do we. We simply change into pure energy, our true selves, and become more powerful and awesome than ever before. This is when we can truly do our work.
Really, I think I understand at least some of the reason I have been so out of sorts lately. One, I have started a new job and it is completely different from anything I have ever done before. (Remember that every new job that Chip ever had was completely different and a new adventure for him, too) Two, there are a lot of other stressers going on for me at this moment: now the grass is growing and I need to get someone lined up to do hay, have to keep the lawn mowed, have to keep the barnyard mowed and cleaned up. There is a lot of work to be done, and only me to do it. I need to remember that I am the only one putting pressure on me to excel. I will learn and become comfortable in time. I have to relax and give myself that time.
Also compelled to share this: One day while we were at Rueger's cutting hay, we were resting and having a picnic lunch under the big oak tree in Rueger's yard. There was a sundial that he and I admired. It said " Grow Old Along With Me, The Best Is Yet To Be". Chip said to me " I want to get you a thick wedding band and have that engraved on it." I was so excited. And we got the band and had it engraved and it is so awesome. And I realize that we had 20 physical years to grow together. But we are still growing "old" together (at least I am still aging), and yes, THE BEST IS YET TO BE
without a doubt, for our adventure continues.
Something I have to say. You know, you should always tell the people you love that you love them. Tell them you appreciate them. Tell them how much they mean to you. You never know. We were "fortunate" that we had time to say what we needed to say. My heart goes out to the bombing victims in Boston. Oh, but to have more time. I could have said it many more times. Some people don't have that. But our loved ones do know. They hear us. They are with us. It's more for us. But when we let the people we love know how much they are loved, it is such a blessing for both them and us. How wonderful to share that love, those feelings, with each other, here and now - to be able to see the look on their face when we express our deepest, most precious feelings for them. So, to all my friends and loved ones, both 2 legged and 4 legged, I love you with all my heart. You each hold a special place in my heart and soul and I am so grateful to be able to share this journey with you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being a part of this with me. May we have many more adventures together, and may God watch over you and bless you with all the blessings and wonders of the Universe.