Was going to skip tonight as it is late and I am weary. Got caught up listening to a radio show and next thing I know, it's bedtime. But I got a nudge and have to mention something that has been on my mind all day. The last several days my mind has been quiet and even though I know there are many things that it wants to communicate, it has chosen to be still and patient, or rather, insist that I be patient. Tonight I feel the gate opening slightly and a little is leaking out. I AM grateful. Grateful for many things. First and foremost, for the love and devotion of my beloved, my soul mate. The veil cannot separate us, and our love for one another. We have much to do here together and I am eager to enter the next step of this journey with you. There is much to learn yet, and though I struggle with my patience, I am willing to work as hard as I need to to learn and grow and evolve. We have a great adventure ahead of us. As we always were in the physical, we are partners still. Side by side. Always.
I am grateful for my friends and family. There are a whole lot more of you now than ever before. I have met so many wonderful people over the last 6 months, that I consider both friend and family. The love and appreciation I feel for you can not be fully expressed with mere words. My soul friends, I am so blessed to share this journey with you. May you all know the highest blessings of the Universe.
Also grateful for the opportunities and experiences that have been bestowed upon me lately. In taking my new job, ( and I consider the people I work for and with in the above friend and family statement) I have been exposed to a whole new world and environment, with people who are kind and fun as well as dedicated and hard working. Today my inner child was glowing , as Reagan and her puppy sat in my lap and watched cartoons on the computer, and we crawled around on the floor, playing with the puppy, and drew flowers and rainbows. And Becky said that Ella wants to come and play with me too, that she thinks I am fun. Do you have any idea how much that means to me?
And, in case you haven't noticed, I have been getting braver. Grateful for that too. It is more than a little frightening to bear your soul to others. But I have mentioned here many times that I am on a journey and I need to be authentic. I am coming out of my cocoon and emerging as a butterfly. Some people may think I am crazy or unbalanced with my ideas. But I know I am not. I have to live my truth. Just because I may be experiencing things that are foreign, unfamiliar, maybe even taboo to others, does not mean that it is not real. Those who truly know me, those who matter will understand. And my hope is to offer insight and healing to others who are having the same experiences as me. My hope is that as I grow and evolve, and step into my power, I can become a source of hope and understanding for people who are grieving, who are seeking their own answers. It is time to serve.
So I think what is happening is that my book is getting ready to emerge, a butterfly itself. My messy thoughts over the last several weeks ( and my incredible bout of despair and depression ) could be metaphorically compared to the caterpillar going into the chrysalis stage, the chaos. And now the quiet, still, peaceful, grounded, blissful feelings can be thought of as the butterfly developing and emerging from the cocoon. Next step? I spread my wings and take flight. And hopefully, there will be beautiful, healing, comforting and empowering messages flowing from those wings and into written word.
Grateful. So many more reasons. Spirit, God, Source, the Universe, whatever name you choose. Thank you for all.
Love, Peace and Happiness