Wednesday, July 24, 2013

"It's Lonely Out Tonight..."

Feeling lonely tonight. It is what I consider "date night", a night to watch our favorite shows and connect, but I am finding it difficult to do so. The dogs are distracting, for one thing. Annie and Bailey are playing, playing, playing. It is so cute to watch 80 pound Annie gingerly holding her favorite toy on one end while 10 pound Bailey has the other end and they are playing tug-o-war with it. She is letting him win, just like a doting Aunt or Mommy or something. And I just can't seem to concentrate. I was going to forgo blogging tonight, but then got a nudge that I needed to sit down here and release some words. Don't know if they will make sense, but I'll have a go at it.

One thing is I have some things to say but there really is only one person I can tell them to. And I have been working on the experiments in the E-2 book and would love to get a group together to discuss it and the results of the experiments. Remember, the first experiment was to ask the Universe for a sign and within 48 hours you would get one, and I did ask, and I did receive, less than 12 hours later a blue star balloon tied to a bush in my back pasture. There are many things I would like to accomplish, both for myself and also for the good of all.

And that brings me to this part: remember when I said that I was feeling a sort of emotional maturity? Well, I waver back and forth on that, not quite ready to graduate yet, but I am working on it. I have this knowing that there are things coming. That is really the only way I can describe it. People are coming into my life, people that I need. And I am grateful. What would I have done had Brad not appeared? And through him I have made so many other wonderful friends. Cheryl, do you feel the connection? My soul is dancing with joy at our finding one another again. And Lisa, Tammy, Danylle, Cee Cee, Doris, everyone. And Beth, dear Beth. And BMK and the gang at C-K. So although I feel lonely right now, I know that I am not really alone. I am surrounded by wonderful people who have chosen to join me on my journey. And I am so blessed.

Yes, tonight is lonely. And dear Brad, the music I am listening to tonight really is having an effect. Listening to  A Thousand Years by Christina Perri   and From Where You Are by Lifehouse. Listen to them and then tell me you can't read my mind as to what I am thinking about and feeling right now. 
There are so many things that I would like to have in life. Some of them scare me. Life was so much simpler when Chip was here. The work was hard, but we had each other. I would come home to him, to his love and comfort. We could do anything together. Still can, just in a different way.  I cannot change what happened, I can only move forward in faith. He is still here guiding me. I know that he is sending me someone, a companion to walk beside me physically. I am waiting.  The three of us will be quite a team. This is where I need to follow my inner guide and have faith that all will work out as it should.
So many thoughts, and my mind is weary. That is a cue that it is time to put the puppy in his play pen, grab my kindle and hop into bed.  After all, it is almost 10:00 and the slave driver has a new bull whip.
Good night to all and to my dearest friends, thank you for coming along. Thank you all. It is going to be a wonderful ride!                  

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