Yup. There is a saying around here in Cincinnati : if you don't like the weather, just wait a few minutes and it will change. That is how my emotions have been lately. Now I know we had the super moon last night which may have had something to do with it, as well as a lot of energetic shifting that is going on lately. All I know is that last night I was ready to clock out when the internet went down, and then the computer froze up. And a quick message conversation later ( initiated by the other person - a nice gift) and I was again feeling better. Had to go out into the back pasture with my phone to do it, but it was worth it. And this is another one of those important moments to remember. Things may look incredibly dismal to you, you may feel that there is no hope, but give it a day, maybe two, and you will know joy once again. I am fortunate that I have a wonderful support system to help me get back on track when I fall into that rut occasionally. Thank you! And today was much better. We all need that support system, and we all need to support one another. I am being very honest and candid with my posts in the hopes that others may find comfort through my experiences. Maybe they will say, "Hey! I feel just like that and it is going to be ok." These last few days I have really been missing Chip. Sometimes it is so overwhelming I feel as if I am drowning in grief. And then I will start to feel better, uplifted, connected, and the sun shines in my heart once again. All part of the journey. Now, I know that some day I shall become a master of my emotions. For right now though, I am enjoying the process, because each time I come to a realization, I gain just a little bit more wisdom and grow just a tiny bit more.
There are things I would like to remember about this weekend. The connection I felt with the sorrel horse at the fair, and how he bowed his head and rested it against my chest as I reassured him that he was going to be ok and he was loved. Marty placing in the show. Going to the movies with Beth and Megan. Brunch with Bonnie and Dave. Life is so full of good things.
So the point I am trying to make is no matter how bad things may seem right at this moment, give yourself a break and allow. Take a deep breath. Allow grace to envelope you and release the angst, open to the good, ask for guidance. And I bet that shortly thereafter you will realize that things are getting better and you will find yourself smiling.
And thank you to my friend, for reminding me.